This can be found here. Reposting for emphasis.

Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? —Ajay

Answer: If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that you’ve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you.

If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you.

If she hides your shoes when you’re late for work, and from a supine position on the couch plays “Hot/Cold,” and, finally, after 15 minutes of you ignoring her screaming, “Boiling! Burning up!” every time you stalk angrily by the dishwasher, gets up, flips it open to reveal the shoes, sitting there among the plates, and hands them over with a kiss and a giggle, and then laughs some more as you tie your laces in a silent rage: She loves you.

If she calls you at work that day to ask, “How are those shoes working out?”: She loves you.

If when you get home you try to hide something of hers, she finds it immediately, shaking her head, and when she pulls whatever it is—oven mitts or stretch pants—from behind the couch, she looks at you and without any attempt to hide her pity, says, “I love you”: She loves you.

If you’re Gael Garcia Bernal: She loves you.

If you’re not Gael Garcia Bernal, but you’re willing to sit through a “GGB” marathon and agree for 10 consecutive hours that he is indeed the most beautiful and talented man alive—and so down-to-earth, too!—and afterward agree that his portrayal of Che Guevara would have earned an Oscar nod were it not for the implicit politics, agree that taking Spanish classes is a great idea, or salsa, or tango, whatever, agree, agree, agree, and that night lying in bed after sex that ends with her screaming, “Si! Si!” wonder aloud, “But you’re happy with me, right?”: She loves you, man—no one can compete with that Latin bastard. Forget about it.

If she puts up with an entire Stars of the Lid album on a long-distance road trip: She loves you.

If she dances with your friends: She loves you.

If at Halloween you’re invited to a TV- and movie-themed party and she dresses up as Winnie Cooper and you dress up as Paul Pfeiffer, mainly because you already have the glasses, and at the party some guy who’s a dead ringer for Fred Savage saunters up, peels off his mole, and says, “Get lost, Paul, Winnie’s mine,” and you’re left standing there while the two of them go off dancing to the soundtrack from Forrest Gump, and when two hours later she finds you sitting by the punch bowl explaining for the umpteenth time that, no, you’re not supposed to be Woody Allen, she holds up a tie stolen from a passed-out Alex P. Keaton to her petticoat and redubs herself Annie Hall, and you Alvy Singer: She loves you. And, to be honest, I sort of love you, too.

If she’s a zombie: She loves you, but only for your brains.

If she says, “I love you” on the roller coaster, right after you’ve puked down your shirt: She loves you.

If you go to a karaoke bar with friends and do a duet of “Endless Love,” and she insists on doing the Lionel Richie part if only so she can really belt out a big “Ooh whoa” near the end, and when you’re done she announces you to the crowd as “Miss Diana Ross, everybody,” and then gives you a high-five: She loves you.

If she plays pointedly with strangers’ babies at the park, intermittently looking over to you with an expression that says, “See?”: She loves you.

If her parents love you: She loves you, probably.

If her parents hate you: She might love you, too.

If she’s the youngest of four sisters, two of whom are lesbians, the third a nun, and the first time you meet her father he pulls you away from his wife’s gingersnaps and homemade iced tea to check out the vintage “titty mags” he keeps hidden underneath a bench in the six-by-four corner of the basement he calls his workshop, the only place in the house not painted lavender and decorated with images of kittens and/or sunflowers, and every few pages he points out a particularly luxuriant pubis, and when you concur—“Sweet”—he smacks you heartily on the back and before you know it he’s calling you “Son” and have you ever fished for pike up north? Because he’s got a cabin. What of this? Well, her dad sure as hell loves you. Welcome to the family!

If she ever says the words, “I hate you”: She loves you. Or she did at one point, anyway.

If she loves you, if she really loves you, you’ll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and it’s not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning “to talk,” if she laughs at your jokes when they’re funny and makes fun of you when they’re not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you.

And with a love like that, you know you should be glad.

Hello audience of...1? Blogger just integrated a following feature to connect blog owners with blog readers. If there is someone out there who would like to follow my musings, click the follow this blog link off to the right. Thanks.

Subscribing to the Zune Pass has been a music adventure for me. The Pass is a musical zeitgeist, the final boss of music discovery. I am amazed at how much great stuff there is out there that I never would have discovered if it hadn't been for the sheer freedom of just listening in full to anything I have a whim for, all offered by subscribing to the 4+ million tracks available in the Zune Marketplace.

The following albums must be experienced before December 31, 11:59pm or you will have unknowingly allowed the glowing sonic goodness of 2008 to have passed you by. Don't let that happen to you. Your mind, heart, and ears will thank you all at once. So follow some links, watch some videos, become enlightened.

1. What Made Milwaukee Famous - What Doesn't Kill Us




















2. The Airborne Toxic Event - The Airborne Toxic Event





















3. The Living End - White Noise





4. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend





5. The Raconteurs - Consolers Of The Lonely





6. Weezer - Weezer (Red Album)





7. Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things





8. Ray LaMontagne - Gossip In The Grain





9. Rodrigo y Gabriela - Live In Japan





10. John Mayer - Where The Light Is: John Mayer Live In Los Angeles

This is a long time coming. I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to put thoughts down to a written response, to take the time to lay it all out, but I haven't felt this passionate about something since the Saturday morning cartoons of 85'. So I've decided to write what I think, feel, and hope about the decision I've made. I'm writing this on a whim, a wholeheartedly necessary whim. To do this though, I need to paint the background a bit, highlight the vast lower half of the iceberg of my decision for the upcoming election so you all can see where I'm coming from. Yeah, I'm sending this to everyone I have the lazy convenience to reach; email, social networks, you name it, it's going out like a bat outta hell. So please, bare with me, this might be a little long, but I swear it'll be remotely entertaining, informative and/or absolutely genius.

About two years ago I began to think about where I fit in the political world. It never held my attention, politicians seemed fake, the whole spectrum of political affiliation and their philosophies seemed foreign. I'd never delved into knowing the main tenets of the major American political parties, none of them seemed to apply to me in any real way. At 20, I was in Oregon on my mission, and catching little tidbits about the 2000 election, how it came down to a bitter stand off in Florida. I remember feeling detached, oblivious to the whole thing, looking through the lenses of my calling then. When 2004 rolled around, I had a chance to vote for a President for the first time in my life. I was a little more politically charged by then, 9/11/01 hit like lightening, and pushed me to vote for the guy not in charge at the time, simply because I was worried about the way the world viewed our current President and how the ball rolling would continue to build if we kept on the same path. It was then that I remember taking a political party quiz my brother showed me to discover what party I should align myself with, cooked up with a pinch of jest and a touch of serious intention. I came out as a libertarian. But these days I prefer Independent, and that's the way I'll remain in the foreseeable future. I came to understand I liked some of what the Donkeys believe, and some of what the Elephants feel important, and vice verse, didn't like some of what both went for as well. I've also come to think voting just for one party at face value is at best lazy, and at its worst, bigoted. I once read something during some of my best years (99-01 Oregon) and it went a little something like this, "A lover of truth will immediately drop everything, every belief, every thought, every action at the mere prospect of something truer." And that's why I will always vote based on the candidate and point in history we face as a nation, not the political party, even if I tend to agree a little more with a one over the other. I will always raise my hand and say I AM SPARTACUS for the guy that deserves the Presidency through character, honor, intelligence, forbearance and by the way he/she runs his/her campaign, which by virtue of those virtues, should usually win him/her the presidency. That's what I hope happens, and will continue to happen, that the American people will always prioritize that.

Hope.

This brings me to late 2006. I'm trying to think about the first time I heard Barack Obama's name, (whoa whoa, sit tight and hear me out if you've already decided and dismissed him, gimmie a chance, this'll be worth it, promise) the first time I caught wind of him. It was roughly 6 months before he announced his presidency. I had caught a news link on google news about a politician energizing young crowds. There was a quick blurb about how unusual it was for a politician to be appealing to the college set, and thought it was cool to see. I kept hearing his strange name occasionally in the news, on the radio, finally googled him and came across his speech from the 2004 Democratic convention. I couldn't help but feel a little moved by the sentiment that shot out of that podium, especially after watching the country divide and get labeled by the media as a red state or a blue state in '04, and how ideologies suddenly seemed like wedges between people/states ect. He had my attention and my skepticism at that point. But it was enough to look up his book, The Audacity of Hope on Amazon to see what people were saying about it on the user reviews. Still skeptical enough to be not be willing to plunk down $15 to read a book written by a politician of all things, I pirated the audio book, and listened to him on the way to school in the morning, narrate his thoughts on the changes he feels we need to make as a country. It was part educational, like learning how politicians have to make compromises to lobbyists and special interest PECs to get funding to get elected, leaving them with so much political debt from day one that they rarely manage to get anything done they had hoped to, and often times, promised, and part syncing with thoughts I'd had for a long time, like going beyond the partisan politics and focusing on the American people, focusing on the positive in campaigning, making health care better and more available, and finally getting on the ball with education as a country. Suffice to say, that book found me, and found me well. Upon finishing it, I caught myself begrudgingly saying, if only someone like this would run for President. Well, as fate would have it, on a cold morning in Springfield Illinois, 6 months later, standing on the grounds of the Old State Capitol, where Lincoln (his and my favorite president) delivered his famous "House Divided" speech against slavery in 1858, the Democratic first-term senator began a bid for the White House. I've learned a lot about the man since then. And if there's one thing I've come to understand about coming to believe in him, to trust him, especially being so new to the political world, is that the more you get to know about him, the easier it is to have his back, and stand up for him. Remarkable and self disciplined, I am confident in saying for once, we have the real deal on our hands. And I'd like to tell you why, in my own way, I'll be voting for him on November 4th. I dare you to visit every link provided here and not come away with the conclusion that he deserves your vote. Double dog dare you.

First off, I'd like to say a thing or two about his heritage. Born of a white anthropologist mother and black father, well traveled around the world and raised to understand many cultures, beliefs, and people. Obama was raised by a single mother for most of his young life, but lost her to cancer during his teenage years, and was subsequently raised by his white grandparents. All three were stalwarts and produced an amazing individual, easily recognized for what he's been able to accomplish, whether he wins on the 4th or not. To me, Obama's upbringing and mixed heritage represents much of what makes America great. We are so diverse, representing a smorgasbord of cultures, races, colors, philosophies, religions, all swirling in a melting pot of freedom. Obama bridges two parts of that melting pot, black and white, and somehow appeals to both sides, with arms stretched out as someone who truly has a chance to lead both, and all. One of my favorite things about him is that ability, to unite. He appeals to both sides, in so many avenues and divisions, from political parties, to race, to the world.

The second thing I like about him is the way he's run his campaign. Shortly before he made public his intention to run for the highest office in the land, he spoke with Marc Andreesen, the guy who founded Netscape. Obama met with many of his trusted friends and family, many of them very skeptical of the very idea that he could actually win. Mr. Andreesen recounted the discussion he'd had with Obama saying, "We asked him directly, how concerned should we be that you haven't had meaningful experience as an executive -- as a manager and leader of people?" To that Obama responded, "watch how I run my campaign -- you'll see my leadership skills in action." After seeing the campaign Obama built and perpetuated, he finally wrote the following, "Well, as any political expert will tell you, it turns out that the Obama campaign has been one of the best organized and executed presidential campaigns in memory. Even Obama's opponents concede that his campaign has been disciplined, methodical, and effective across the full spectrum of activities required to win -- and with a minimum of the negative campaigning and attack ads that normally characterize a race like this, and with almost no staff turnover. By almost any measure, the Obama campaign has simply out-executed both the Clinton and McCain campaigns." To put it bluntly, he's actually changed the way politics and running campaigns work in this country. I knew based on his book the problems with running for office, the compromises he'd have to make to receive funding, to forgo the political debt and be able to actually make the change he wanted to made. He was confident if he represented true positive change, he could instigate it from the bottom up. It was a game changer, and it's carried him all the way to being favored to win. It wasn't lobbyist's that have carried him, it wasn't political ties, it wasn't special interest PECs, it wasn't the mega rich dropping huge amounts of expendable income, it wasn't large corporations. It has been everyday American people who have largely funded his campaign, giving small donations of $10-$20. That tells me two things: 1, when/if he makes it to office, his political debt will be next to nothing, and 2, he'll be well positions to bring out the change he's been promising since he announced his bid for presidency. Getting to office, without being politically weighed down is a huge hurdle to make it over, he knew it, and he's somehow managed to do it. That's huge.

Third, his policies on the economy. What is happening with the economy is very concerning to me + everyone else and I think the big difference between McCain and Obama here are significant. For too long, the nation has become top heavy, and the gap between the middle class and upper class has been widening. The idea is that wealth trickles down, that corporations pass the savings on to the consumers. It hasn't been happening, the gap and average American income is lower than when Reagan introduced trickle-down economics, and it's high time we changed course. Obama, just like he has transformed the method a politician could be supported from the bottom up, seeks to build our economy back up in the same way, from the roots upward. Instead of cutting taxes on the upper tiers of the mega corporations, perpetuating the widening gap, and trouncing down the same road that has gotten us at the cliff of this financial disaster we're facing, he wants to shift course, and turn the tables back toward the middle class, the bulk of America. Everyone making under $250,000 receives a tax cut. That's about 95% of working Americans. It seems like such an obvious thing, growth begins at the roots. And if we want to build our economy again, it's time we brought it back down to build the fundamentals once more, and improve the source of the money flow. And yet Obama is called a socialist for this? Even socialists deny Obama that identity. He wants to close the wealth gap, something I'd doubt most Americans would have a problem with at all. Do you? The only people who truly have a problem with that represent the upper 2% of the population. It's ridiculous, and more pointedly put, it's perpetuated to instill fear, rather than confidence. It's a desperate last ditch ploy to tap into fears of voters who haven't forgotten their Cold War rhetoric. The same thing with accusations that Obama is buddies with domestic terrorists, ACORN associations, and that he's a Muslim, all are centered on avoiding the core issues that all Americans are facing and will continue to face over the next 4 years and beyond.

Fourth, is Obama's education plan. As an education major, and teacher, education is a big deal to me. I've debated the ins and outs of No Child Left Behind ever since it was introduced. Obama's plan starts at the beginning, extending support for early childhood education, and moves to K-12, by reforming NCLB's accountability system so that we are supporting schools that need improvement, rather than punishing them. I've always felt that was NCLB's biggest downfall, it reinforced negativity, rather than positive reinforcement. It then moves on to supporting teachers by increasing pay, all the while upping accountability along with it, as well as training and recruiting more teachers to meet demand. And finally his plan makes it possible for any young individual who wants it, to be able to afford college with a American Opportunity Tax Credit. Essentially providing a universal and fully refundable credit that will ensure that the first $4,000 of a college education is completely free for most Americans, and will cover two-thirds the cost of tuition at the average public college or university and make community college tuition completely free for most students. Recipients of the credit will be required to conduct 100 hours of community service. It reminds me of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint's Perpetual Education Fund, which funds education for service in impoverished countries. It seeks to enrich both the country and the students who work to obtain it, gaining valuable experience as well as becoming educated. Obama would not be the person he is today without the education he received (Harvard Law) and taught (constitutional law at University of Chicago Law School for twelve years) and I believe because of his experience as student and teacher, he has a rock solid plan to get us back on track with the rest of the world.

Fifth, is his Health care plan, which is another policy he often gets docked as socialism by those that haven't done their homework. He's not seeking to bring universal health care to Americans, he wants to make it universally acessible and affordable for anyone that wants it, meaning there won't be any turned away who have the money to pay for it due to preexisting conditions like we have now, leaving over 47 million Americans without health care. That's not cool. Obama's plan builds on the existing health care system, and uses existing providers, doctors and plans to implement it. On health care reform, Americans are too often offered two extremes - government-run health care with higher taxes or letting the insurance companies operate without rules. Both choices are inefficient, and ineffectual, leaving millions without lifesaving health care, or decreasing the quality of it as a whole. Obama proposes a plan that strengthens employer coverage, makes insurance companies accountable and ensures patient choice of doctor and care without government interference. Under the plan, if you like your current health insurance, nothing changes, except your costs will go down by as much as $2,500 per year. If you don’t have health insurance, you will have a choice of new, affordable health insurance options. Barack Obama will pay for his $50 - $65 billion health care reform effort by rolling back the Bush tax cuts for Americans earning more than $250,000 per year and retaining the estate tax at its 2009 level as well as help health care centers move into the 21st century by moving paper records to electronic versions, increasing efficiency and reliability.

Last thing I'll want to highlight is his stance on the Iraq war. Put bluntly, we never should have invaded without knowing fully there were weapons of mass destruction. It was fought on false pretense, becoming clear today that it was more prominently to secure a hold in the middle east to lock in our stake in energy allowance versus the world. That middle eastern energy dependence will lead to further conflicts as the needs rise for oil across the world, which is why he supports funding a huge initiative to help break us free of oil dependence. Part of that initiative involves:

• Helping create five million new jobs by strategically investing $150 billion over the next ten years to catalyze private efforts to build a clean energy future.
• Within 10 years save more oil than we currently import from the Middle East and Venezuela combined.
• Put 1 million Plug-In Hybrid cars -- cars that can get up to 150 miles per gallon -- on the road by 2015, cars that we will work to make sure are built here in America.
• Ensure 10 percent of our electricity comes from renewable sources by 2012, and 25 percent by2025.
• Implement an economy-wide cap-and-trade program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions 80 percent by 2050

Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq: successfully ending the war, responsibly and in phases. I don't care who you are, or what color, political affiliation, or station in life, we all should want this war to finally end, it's taxed us in world opinion, cost us billions upon billions, all under false pretense. It's just sad to think of all the lives lost, to the innocent Iraqi people, to our soldiers out there fighting (my cousin among them). Obama opposed the war from the beginning, and wants to end the war responsibly, releasing us of that 10 Billion we pay each month, money
we can put to far better use to improve our lives back home, money that has been desperately needed here to produce change for the past 8 years.

Change.

This brings me back to the what brought me to discover him in the first place, coming full circle. There is something to be said about the man's ability to ignite and inspire so many people, from the young, to the old, black, white, Democrats, Republicans, Jews, economists, to everyday Americans who donated to his campaign, and turned the tide of the battle for the White House. He's made the right choice in Iraq, a wiser and longer reaching choice in Vice President, and he's proven he's cool under pressure when the financial crisis hit. He is a unifier, born of humble beginnings, a senator, lawyer, professor and father, Christian and skeptic, and above all a student of history and human nature, poised to bring about positive change in this country and the world. I'll end with Obama's own words, given a few days ago, in Virginia, "Now I understand times are hard, this won't be easy. And the storm hasn't quite passed yet. Sometimes the skies look cloudy. And it's dark. And you think, the rains will never pass. But here's what I understand, that as long as all of us are together, as long as we are all committed, that there's nothing we can't do. That's why we started off this campaign saying, "Yes we can." That's why we understood, that black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, young, old, rich, poor, it doesn't matter, we're all Americans. And our destiny, will be shaped by us. And this young generation that's out here, the young people of America, understand that the clouds, these too will pass. That a brighter day will come. That, if you are willing to work for it. If you're willing to roll up your sleeves. If you're willing to lock arms, and march, and talk to your friends, and talk to your neighbors, make a phone call, do some organizing, yes do some community organizing, then I promise ya, Fredricksberg, we will win Virginia, we will win this general election. And you and I together, we will change the country and change the world. God Bless ya, and God bless the United States of America."

Justin Anderson
Teacher

2nd Timothy, 1:7

This is Zen like wisdom here. Great little story I came across, thought I'd share.

Life:

Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

I want to put a urinal in my future home one day. I read this article and realized I might have a problem. Check it out and tell me what you think.



The vast majority of my dreams are completely impossible: owning Mars, traveling to the future, writing a book. So when -- thanks to the magical economics of failed television pilot writing -- I got to buy a house, and that house needed a new bathroom, I was about to realize one of my lifelong dreams: owning a home urinal.

My contractor, obviously, thought this was the best idea anyone had ever come up with, and immediately went shopping with me for a classy, retro porcelain model, the kind you can saunter up to in a tux and slap a highball on. But then my neighbor, Holly Purcell, a very successful real estate broker, informed me that I absolutely could not install a urinal of any kind if I ever hoped to resell my house. Noting my confusion, she slowly explained that urinals, to my shock, gross women out.

I spent the next few weeks asking women, many of whom I barely knew, what they thought about urinals. The results were not good. First of all, it's got an unfortunate name. Toilets would still be kept outside if they were called crapinals. Also, my female friends said urinals conjured images of large, impersonal institutions such as prisons. They felt like the lidlessness was unsanitary. Basically, what I learned is that women have vastly overestimated the precision of peeing into a toilet bowl while standing up.

When I countered with the clear advantages of the urinal -- toilet seat always down, decreased water use, saved time, ease of cleaning, the option to pour in ice and play the most fun game in the entire world -- the truth came out. Urinals, these women eventually conceded, are simply too aggressively male. It is, they explained, like hanging a codpiece over the mantle. Which, of course, is now my new lifetime dream.

This seemed grossly unfair because there is so much woman stuff in a house. Such as, for instance, the house.

Looking for some sane, fair advice, I called Jeff Lewis, the OCD-wracked L.A. real estate speculator on Bravo's reality show "Flipping Out." He too advised against my plan. "You don't want to get too specific with your improvement. You narrow your market," he said. "A lot of women would have a problem with it. They'd rather have room for something else. Women love soaking tubs." I told him that there was room in my bathroom for both. He countered that women don't love soaking in a tub near a vat of urine. It was becoming clear that I should never open a day spa.

Seeing my dream fade away, I did what any mature person does when faced with an uncomfortable reality: Search out someone who will tell you what you want to hear. But even Michael Carney, the director of Cal Poly Pomona's Real Estate Research Council,said that the home urinal was on the same level of bad idea as a bathtub in the middle of the master bedroom or an above-ground hot tub. People who buy houses, it seems, hate urine and sex.

Finally, Gopal Ahluwalia of the National Assn. of Home Builders, who knows nothing about home urinals, told me to go ahead and do it. "Somebody might say they like it. People like variety. I don't see anything wrong," he said.

Which was all I needed. Plus the Bravo real estate guy said that if I was going to stay in my house for 10 years, I should get a urinal and, when I sell the house, immediately rip it out, cap the pipe and plaster over it. Better yet, I found out that the 2006 New American Home -- the model house shown at the International Builders Show -- featured a bathroom with a urinal. Sure, the house was 10,023 square feet and the urinal was above the garage, but still, it was there.

So I was all set to go ahead and get my urinal, but then I developed this weird, postlapsarian shame about it all. And I'm more than a little grossed out by my wife, Cassandra, for not being grossed out by the home urinal in the first place. Still, if that's the kind of woman she is, I'm thinking she'll definitely go for the above-ground hot tub.

jstein@latimescolumnists.com

News Article

Caught this on reddit, which was posted on craigslist.

Here's the link:

And here's the text, read it all, it'll make you wince, poor guy, but it's crazy just how many things he learned and became by following his blasted heart. Somehow, I relate.

"I chased you for 12 years around the world, and I still can't find you - m4w

---

Date: 2004-05-07, 2:06AM PDT




When I met you in 1990, you said that you'd marry the man who'd follow you around the world. We were just sophomores in high school, so I didn't know what to think. I thought it was just some school girl romantic fantasy. All I knew was that you were the girl for me. We were only 15 years old, but I had this feeling that you'd play a major role in my life. After we graduated from Aragon High School in San Mateo, you revealed to me that you were accepted to Berkeley, but you wanted to go to Germany for college. Remember that night we spent ice skating at Fashion Island? You said that you loved me, but you had to cut off all ties with to be able to move on. That was the last time I ever saw you. I said I'd wait for you, but you told me not to and to just move on...but I remember what you said sophomore year.

You were accepted at the University of Tübingen, Berlin. I left home for Berlin. For 4 years I looked for you. You made the impact you always did in Berlin. People heard of you, but didn't know where you were. Nobody helped me. I wasn't good enough for Tübingen, so I attended Technische Universität Berlin where I earned a degree. I am now fluent in German, a language I never intended to learn. After graduation, I returned to San Mateo thinking you returned as well. I called your mother on the summer after you graduated, she said you had left for grad school in Tokyo. I left again, this time, to Tokyo. Auf Wiedersehen.

Your father said you are studying business at Keio University in Tokyo. I looked all over Tokyo for you. From the morning rush at Shinjuku Station, to the last train on the Tozai-line bound for Nakano. You were never found. To make ends meet, I got a job at NOVA, then in 1998 I got a real job at DoCoMo. I fell in love with Japan and its culture. I learned the language, and I am now fluent. Another language I never intended to learn. I went to the graduate office at Keio University's school of business seeing if you were set to graduate. There you were, on the list. I was denied entry to the ceremony since I had no tie to anyone graduating. That was the closest I had ever come to seeing you since grad night back in high school. Two months after graduation, I resigned from DoCoMo. I recieved an email from your cousin (You know, Jerry's ex-girlfriend) saying you had gotten a job in Hong Kong. I left my friends, my job, my home, my fiance, and everything Tokyo gave me to search for you. I'm so sorry Mizuki. Kima wa itsumo kokoro no naka ni iru.

It was 1999, and I had just arrived in Hong Kong, and so did you. Six months later, I found out you had left Hong Kong because you didn't enjoy your new job. From Causeway Bay to Kowloon, there were traces of you, but never the real entity. Your father told me you went to India for training for a tech company, then were to be set up in London. I don't know if I searched for you for no reason, but then again, my searches have always been fruitless. I went to Seoul to take up a lucrative job offer at one of LG's sister companies, Hiplaza, Inc.

In late 1999, I had already been established in Korea. I worked for Hiplaza, then 3 years later, LG. For the first time, I was free of the feeling of having to look for you. I was in a place I knew you weren't It was like a dream. A world without you. The dream ended 3 months ago when I left LG. Now the curse of your existence has returned. An nyonghi jumuship siyo.

I'm now back in San Mateo. I haven't been here in the bay area since 1996. All my high school friends are either married, dead, or gone without a trace. I have nobody here but my dysfuctional family. Your brother said last month that you're still in London and will return to the bay area permanently this summer. I chased you around the world for 12 years, learned 3 languages, made quite an amount of money, just to meet you in the town where it all began. Fashion ISland isn't even there anymore, but the ice skating rink is still there.

I'm not German, I'm not Japanese, and I am not Korean, but I can say anything in those languages, but I can't say anything to bring you back. You made the biggest changes in my life without barely stepping foot into it. I don't know if I should thank you or hate you, but one thing I'm sure of, I miss you dearly. Your cousin told me what your brother couldn't bring himself to tell me. 3 hours ago I recieved an email saying the reason why you're coming back is because you want to have your wedding in San Francisco, and that it was your fiance's idea.

@$! you. "

Ouch.

This, I hope, will be a monthly feature of the blog. These are songs that are highly relevant to me, and almost more so to the world at large right now. I'm on an acoustic kick, so most of them are smooth and chill, but these are songs that also reasonate, songs you can feel.

So, since this is about the music, I present you with the first song, along with a short bit of elaboration and lyrics:

1. Stop This Train - John Mayer/Continuum

First off, you must buy this album. It's honest to goodness worth every cent. Here I'll even give you a link to Amazon to make it even easier for you. It's really that good. One of the few albums where just about every song is audio gold. Mayer has previously only rounded the pop rock fare, and if he'd continued down that road he would have easily went off the map for me. But this, this is a serious departure from his earlier work. He's been hanging out with the likes of Eric Clapton, and B.B. King, musical giants of soul and blues.

What's happened is they've corrupted him into something indellible, where now you can see/hear a young legend in the making. I don't know what Clapton did to him, but John's skill with a guitar is becoming better and better, he even might rival Clapton, one of all time greats one of these days. And with all these greats influencing Mayer, he's created an modern blues album, one that deals with the war, with heartache and growing up within it. It's an album you need to sit down and just listen to all the way through.

But this song, Stop This Train, is about growing pains. Something that lately, I know all too well. So seep this one in, and tell me this aint some seriously great stuff:



No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind; I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get out and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
But honestly will someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own
Come on stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can but honestly won't someone stop this train

So afraid of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
When you're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing so you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get out and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

(think I got 'em now)

Next up,

2. Boston - Augustana

What else can I say but I feel like doing this. Starting over, starting fresh somewhere.



In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

3. Dear Mr. President - Pink

Let me get this clear first, Pink is not exactly my taste. Not much at all, but this song is. Politically, I don't think I've ever been as interested as I am now. I'm worried about America, about the state we're in. I'm worried about the War. I have a cousin out there, and I'n not able to distance myself from it because of it. That's not to say I blame our President for America's problems, but there is a mess that he didn't intend to make, that I hope can be cleaned by those who follow him, like hopefully this guy

This song is a letter to him about those worries, of connecting all our worries to the one who leads this country.



Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

4. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

This song will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. It's a cover of Leonard Cohen's fantastic work. Buckley died tragically, just as his star was rising, and it adds some depth to an already deep song. There something stirring and somber about it. There's a story even beyond the story the song paints. You can feel every note.



Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
And she tied you to her kitchen chair
And She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well baby I've been here before
I`ve seen this room and I've walked this floor
(You Know)I used to live alone before I knew you
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you?
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy ghost was moving too
And every breath we drew is Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

5. Chinese Translation - M. Ward

Now for a little something more upbeat. Ward is dang cool, he's got a rich unique sound with a crackly rasp. This song plays out in an interesting way. Tells a story about a young man that climbs and mountain and asks advice from an old man who'd done the same thing as the guy before him and so on. My interpretation? You can ask people the same question and never find the answer. Because some questions have no right answer. You can only answer them yourself.



I sailed a wild, wild sea
climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met a old, old man
beneath a weeping willow tree
He said now if you got some questions
go and lay them at my feet
but my time here is brief
so you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart
and how can a man like me remain in the light
and if life is really as short as they say
then why is the night so long
and then the sun went down
and he sang for me this song

See I once was a young fool like you
afraid to do the things
that I knew I had to do
So I played an escapade just like you
I played an escapade just like you
I sailed a wild, wild sea
climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met an old, old man
he sat beneath a sapling tree
He said now if you got some questions
go and lay them at my feet
but my time here is brief
so you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart
and how can a man like me remain in the light
and if life is really as short as they say
then why is the night so long
and then the sun went down
and he played for me this song

6. John Legend's Coming Home

A change of genre. This song simply makes me think about my cousin.



A father waits upon a son
A mother prays for his return
I just called to see
If you still have a place for me
We know that like took us apart
But you're still within my heart
I go to sleep and feel your spirit next to me
I'll make it home again
I pray you'll fall in love again
Just say you'll entertain the possibility
I learned enough from my mistakes
Learned from all I didn't say
Won't you wait for me

It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home

We fight to stay alive
But somebody's got to die
It's so strange to me
A new year, a new enemy
Another soldier gone to war
Another story told before
Now it's told again
It seems the wars will never end
But we'll make it home again
Back where we belong again
We're holding on to when
We used to dare to dream
We pray we live to see
Another day in history
Yes we still believe

It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home

I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming…
You know that I'll be coming home

It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home

And there ya have it. Hope you discovered some good songs. I'll be back for more next month.

This is kinda a big deal. I'm about to unleash, what could possibly be the most embarrassing thing I have of me. It's been a well kept secret for years. The type of thing that normal people would want to keep under lock and key, burn under the slight chance that a girl I take home hears my Mom say something like, "Say Justin, whatever happened to that movie you made a long time ago with your cousins?"

The normal Justin would wince in horror.

To say I play a large rabbit in costume with a black cape and I kill people for the better half of the movie doesn't do it justice, but it does explain why I might be a tad embarrassed to show the world what me, my siblings and my cousins made one summer in the 80's. Yeah normal people wouldn't dream of broadcasting something like this, but I'm not normal, I'm embracing my checkered past as an overgrown killer bunny rabbit.

Heh, to put it in context though, basically this costume I'm wearing in the movie hails from a character I created when I was obessed with Garfield comics. I wanted to have my own character so... Gabbit the Rabbit was born. That following October after I began drawing Gabbit, my Mom pulled out the Mom of the Year award for actually making my own creation for Halloween. She rocked that year. A year or so later, all my cousins were around for the summer and we got to talking and somehow we all decided, spur of the moment to make a movie. Keep in mind we were all roughly around 6-13 or so, but our idea was simple, we decided to make a movie about a killer bunny rabbit, essentially because we actually had a big bunny rabbit consume.

It can get much can-do-anything-kid-attitude than that. The following 23 minutes basically encapsulates my childhood, for good and ill, because well, the movie is laughably bad, but arguably MORE entertaining than say Dana Carvey's Master of Disguise especially if you grew up in the 80's. Because therein, you'll see many things that'll bring a smile to your face, things you know YOU actually wore, yes, tight fitting levi shorts, rolled up in the knee, NEON clothing, Levi jackets, SPANDEX shorts, and oversized trucker boy scout hats, are all majestically represented. You'll even see a leopard skinned tennis cap! Clothing aside, you'll catch a glance at a commodore 64 (that's 64 bits of RAM, we usually have a gig now) in all it's glory (best selling PC of all time). You'll see a yellow linoleum in our kitchen floor, strait from the 70's, with a yellowish fridge to match, phones with twirly cords, those scooters everyone had back then, and a--I kid you not, a Stairmaster.

We made this masterpiece with a dinosaur camcorder three times the size of our heads, all the while having to lug around an attached 15 lb VCR, so keep that in mind when absolutely nothing is in focus for minutes at a time. But take heart knowing when the focus comes in you'll be taking a trip back in time, back to the good ole days, when Summer was eternal. Sheesh I look at those immensely green lawns of the street I grew up on and can't help but wax nostalgic. But the film is nearly completely unscripted, it took us all day, and we enjoyed every minute of making it.

So long story short, me and my siblings got together and took the original footage and you could say remastered it. We cut and sliced, added music, credits, the works. The finished product is what might be terms the "director's cut", but to me, it pays homage to the distant time when we all were just being kids. A bunch of us are all grown up now, one of us is out there in Iraq (the scooter kid that goes AHHH!), some of us have kids, and some are just big kids still, but this is for all of us to remember, even for you to remember those times, hopefully this somehow in some strange inexplicable way takes ya back. But one day, all of us are going to get together again and make the sequel. Just don't say I didn't warn you when you can't sleep at night, worrying about a killer bunny rabbit.

So without any further blah blah, I present the best/worst kid made movie of all time.

Grab some friends/family members/co-workers, and prepare to experience something unlike anything you've ever seen...

GABBIT: The Killer Rabbit


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Link to bigger version, seriously go here to watch