I did not write this, but man does it make sense, or uh, rather it sheds light on something that makes absolutely no sense. This goes out to all the genuine nice guys. Not the overly nice guys, they suck.

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

My Solemn Witness

I call upon Almighty God to grant me His Grace, to arm me with His eternal love, and limitless knowledge. I humbly cry for His presence, that He will be near as I scribe His merciful gift of truth, which has turned my heart in epic grandeur to my heavenly home. I am daunted at the task to share the things that dwell far into my very being. I hope and pray that God might breathe His holy wind into the embers of your heart that the spark that is there might ignite and flame toward heaven.

I begin with the words of Ammon, a prophet of the Americas, Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord: yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full: yea we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel. (Alma 26.16) like him of old, I find it difficult to funnel things I feel into words. Ive learned some things cannot be put into words. Ive also learned that though words hold great power, it is actions that truly matter. If anything I know itll be the things that reach our past my beliefs that will be a true showing of my testimony. Nevertheless, I offer what I have come to know in my heart, and hope they contain as much power for you as they do for me. If you feel a warmth in your heart as you are reading this, know that God loves you, and He is trying to speak to you, trying to tell you that these things are true, that this is the most important knowledge you can possess. As so with that, I humbly offer my testimony:

I am a child of God.

That simple knowledge is a driving force in my life because I realize who the exquisite being it is I am related to. He is my Father. He is your Father, and he loves all of us with a love that transcends time. Within that knowledge, I find there is a whisper within me that yearns and aspires to break free of all my weaknesses and rise to greatness, to become like Him. I know He is perfect, all wise, and powerful, yet at the same time, merciful, kind, and just. It is hard to understand one who is at that level of perfection, a complete and glorified being, one at perfect balance of power and virtue.

Yet with that limited understanding, coupled with that fact that I am basing all my knowledge of Him on faith, I still find when my head lifts to the skies, to the stars in the night sky, I have felt His ever-extended arms calling me to Him. He is teaching me how to come through the darkness of this life back to Him. And I know when I reach those arms, I will be far different from who I am now. I will be someone who has braved the storms of life; I will be weathered, and refined. I will be strong in mind, body, and soul. I will have matured and blossomed as a rose would, becoming what I always had to potential to be. I will be someone who has given it his all to ascend to my Fathers ways. In that day, I will feel as He feels, know as He knows, love, as He loves. I will be like Him. What a glorious process! That process is the meaning of life. And though I know the road is fraught with danger and difficulties, pain and anguish, it is also laden with peace and happiness, triumph and understanding. I know from the heart of my soul, that it will be worth all the sweat and tears. I have faith that I can make it there, and believe that every child of God can too. It involves daring to be your best, which I feel is the key. It all flows down to the word, try. I believe it is possible to progressively go from each day, and expand my potential. Yet I often ask myself what I am capable of, how far can I go? I believe the answer is found in knowing who my Father in Heaven is. Why else would Jesus say when praying to our Father, And this is life eternal, that they (US!) may know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent. (John 17.3) The only way to know our Father is to do the things He has commanded us.

This reveals the core meaning of our lives. There is life after death. And all of it is in vain if we do not take heed and understand the reason we are here now. We lived before we were born, (Proverbs 8: 22-31) and chose to come and be here where an amazing amount of growth could take place. We came to work towards becoming like Father. We had to forget everything, to live a life based on faith, to truly be tested. This is why we are here. Therefore, life takes on its beautiful, piercing meaning.

I know that Jesus is the Christ.

That statement is the way to my fondest dream. I am always empowered to tell others of His story. The more humanity knows and follows Him the greater the world will be. I know the Gospel as taught by the Teacher of Teachers is the sole hope of the world. And what is the world? It is us. Jesus is the only One who came into the world, pure. He was the only One who could have conquered the sins of the world, and pacified the sword of justice that hung over us. He saved us! He won! Even in His darkest hour, He valiantly trudged forward. Nothing deterred Him from accomplishing what He was destined to do. The fate of the universe hung in His hands. For it was His hands that created it, for the purpose of exalting His Fathers children. It was the only way to exalt us. Our Father in Heaven let it all fall into the hands of His first-born to ignite the bowels of mercy within us. Oh how much trust He had in Him! What a glorious bond they had! It leads me to believe that that same kinship can be ours too. When Jesus invited us all to come follow Him, He extends his limitless faith in our own fledgling abilities. He holds me in awe in that regard.

His task was of the most exquisite difficulty, and he won because He was motivated by the purest love we have ever seen in this world. And by that, I know love can be and is the greatest force I have at my disposal, for there is nothing it cannot accomplish. And now, because of His perfect love, I shall dedicate the rest of my life here to try to repay the debt He has suffered in my behalf. This is all He has asked us to do. His sacrifice is so very personal. He did it for me. He did it for you. I know He was thinking of us distinctly as He shed great drops of blood upon the ground of Gethsemane. I know one of those drops was for me. And in the worst of it, I feel His knowledge of us enabled Him, to do what even He, the only perfect man to walk this earth, faltered in thinking He could do. And now in His hands we are engraven, He has earned our love, even though billions upon billions of Heavenly Fathers children do not realize it. The tokens appear in His palms that were driven through with nails of torture. And in agony, He hung, fueled by His unfailing desire to save us. He did not have one spec of selfishness within Him. His mission culminated to the final and epic test of His abilities. Father left Him. How hard that must have been. And in that, when Satan could have won us all, the Light of the World, the Chosen One, arose with fire in His eyes, and became the Savior of the World.

I testify that I know that after they laid Him in the tomb and rolled the great rock to block the way, He came forth and broke the chains of death. And now, every man woman and child who has ever lived upon this world will live again, and reunite with their bodies in a glorified and immortal form, never to be separated again. He lives today, just as he lived then. And when we find ourselves feeling lonely, we are forgetting He is right there. He is the Master of Life and Death. He is our greatest friend. He is the light in the deepest shadow, and the wings of our spirits in flight. He is like the spring in the dry burning desert. He is a song in the longest night. He is the continual beauty in all things. I love Him because He has shown me the way to eternal life in never ending joy. He only asks us to have faith in Him, bringing us to a desire repent of all our sins, to change for the better, which yields to the desire to be baptized in His name, promising to follow Him for the rest of our lives. He promises us eternal life, eternal joy and progression with Father in Heaven. Nothing is greater or more precious than that.

Nothing.

I have personally made that covenant with God to follow His son and because of this, I have received the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide me along my way. I only have left to endure. May God grant us all the courage come to know Jesus, and to follow Him with all our heart, might, mind and strength.

I know the church to which I belong is the literal Kingdom of God on the earth.

It has been revealed since the beginning of man on this earth, that one day there would be a great falling away. Though through out time there have been many, this last one is distinct because it will usher in the Second Coming of our Lord and Savior. God has wisely and with great purpose, called Prophets to guide His children. They are the ones that have given us the truths we have now. The scriptures are the script of the great drama of the ages, the words of life. They are the directions Heavenly Father intends us to know and follow. I love the scriptures! They contain the way to know Christ, and through Christ, God. Following the words contained in holy writ are essential for our growth in the validity of the divinity of the scriptures. (John: 7, 17) If the world rejects the prophets they reject their Father in Heaven.

In the time that Christ lived and died, and had set up His kingdom, and sent His authorized servants into the world, armed with His Priesthood, there was great opposition. The same desperate spirit that raged in their hearts to kill their Savior continued in ridding themselves of what could have saved them inwardly, not outwardly like they were looking for. Satan moved quickly and soon all the twelve Apostles of the Lamb were taken from this mortal life. And when the dust had cleared, what were left were their inspired writings.

Thus began the long night of the final Apostasy.

It was not God who caused it; it was the wickedness of those who were too hard-hearted to recognize what was before them. That is the same with many of the world's wrongs. Without Prophets, we are left to interpret the things of God with limited understanding. Many prophets knew and saw our day, and described it in great detail. (Amos 8.11, 2^nd Thessalonians 2. 1-3, Timothy 3. 1-7) Yet still Christianity endured, due to many of the strong and faithful who truly believed in the Messiah.. And because of the lack of Prophets, there are hundreds upon hundreds of different churches professing the name of Christ today. It reveals our limited understanding when left to our own devices, but also illuminates our inherent desire to know Him. The Church of Jesus Christ is meant to have a prophet, wherein Jesus can lead at the head. That is the way it is meant to work. It makes sense. There was and is a great lack of unity, and that is not the way of Christ. The religious climate remained in this confused state for hundreds of years. Yet God was merely biding his time. The Dark Ages past, and then came the Renaissance era, which brought a much-needed spark of light to the world. A man, Christopher Columbus was inspired to go where none had thought possible. He sailed the waters and found the new world. Soon the Revolutionary War was fought. A nation was born under the direction of inspired men. Freedom of religion was declared. And shortly thereafter, in the year 1820, a small boy went into a grove of trees to pray about which church to join. He believed God would answer his prayer because of a simple verse he'd found in the Bible. (James 1: 5) There in that grove of trees in upper New York, God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him and ushered in the dispensation of the fullness of times. That boy was Joseph Smith, the prophet of the Restoration, an event prophesied thousands of years before by many of God's chosen. (Acts 3, 19-21, Ephesians 1, 9-10) The Church of Christ would be restored back to its former glory as when it was led by divine inspiration as in times of old.

For centuries, a record of vast significance laid waiting for the world to slowly discover. This record would unlock the vague truths of the bible. It would solidify the validity of Christs life and His teachings. It would call to the world, both Jew and Gentile, and be a blazing second witness to the truths of the Gospel. It would be the fruit of the validity of the Prophet Joseph. (Matthew 7: 15-16)This record is called the Book of Mormon, and I solemnly affirm that along with the Prophet who translated the grand volume, that anyone can come closer to God by abiding by its precepts than any other book. I know the book is true because I have come closer to my Father in Heaven by living by truths contained within its pages.

The Priesthood, which had been lost for so long was to be given to men once again. And now I so testify that in the name of Christ, this is His church. It is even now, led by him, by a living prophet! What devoted believer would not want to be part of a church that is being led by God like he led His followers in the scriptures? I know because of the Spirit of God, which has chiseled this grand knowledge into my heart. All who are honest seekers of truth need only to pray to know for themselves. And God does answer. He always answers. He is still a God of miracles, (Hebrews 3: 8) and His power is being made manifest in His Church throughout the world.

My testimony involves these three truths. Upon these, rest everything I am and are and will be. There are so many more facets of my testimony that build as a diamond. A Pearl of Truth. For this is why we are here. It reminds me of a parable taught by the Master. The question remains, what is the price to know the truth? The answer is the following; the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found a pearl of great price, went and sold all he had, and bought it. (Mat 13: 45-46) To truly live the Gospel I know I must rise above mediocrity and never look back. I must sacrifice all I have to obtain the pearl I seek. I will spend the rest of my mortal days and forever beyond in battle with the evil serpent who is relentlessly seeking to bring me down to endless woe. But I know that it is keeping the Pearl of knowledge in Him that will see me through to the end of this mortal test. If I remain righteous, there is nothing Satan can do. This is the power I have, the power of agency. And it is with this agency that I vow to overcome the world, and become a Saint, through the merits of Christ who is my master and friend. (Mosiah 3:19)

I will be valiant in my Testimony of Christ, and covenant with God to do so, urging all to do the same.

This is my testimony to the world, spoken in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

So a bit ago I went to a smallish Howard Jones concert at the Velvet Room in SLC. The white blob is Howard Jones in the pic over to the left yonder. My buddies mentioned that is was a great concert last year. So I went. Almost didn't, Tickets.com is wacked. But I'm glad I did. My friends are really into 80's bands, Depeche Mode, Erazure, Duran Duran, and while I don't really share their fervor for it, I like the spunkiness and the hip beats. Well I've heard Howard Jones over the years, Like to Get to Know you Well, No one is to Blame, What is Love, but he's on the map for me now. His sound now is like this new age blend of kickin' techno and classic 80's. It's sounds really fresh but still has a sort of oldish familiarity. Check out his upcoming album when it hits our shores. Go and listen to some of his new stuff at www.howardjones.com

So anyway, the other thing I wanted to talk about was something that one of the songs I heard got me thinking about. The song is Everlasting Love, hence the title. (lyrics enclosed) It's about holding out for love. Now I'm 25 years old, livin' in the heart of marriage drenched Mormondom. I have a buddy who is my age who is really letting the pressure of getting married kinda get to him. I don't really feel it as much, but I do feel the slight tuggings. Tonight I'm going to one of my buddies bachelor parties, the guy we all thought would take years and years to get hitched. I had a friend call me about a month ago out of nowhere and tell me he went off to Vegas and eloped. My little core group is slipping into the other side of society, we're dwindling, succuming to rest of our lives.

My thing is that I've always believed love was something that you cannot stop when it happens. It's why they call it falling in love. You meet a girl and no matter the plans, your intentions, you start slipping down toward her. It happens naturally. I've been in love before. I know what the fireworks feel like. I've stood at the edge of bachelordom and peeked across the wide spread valley of matrimony. (Almost got married). And all I can say about it all is that it's worth it. Waiting, holding out for something spectacular, searching, dating, playing those silly games we tend to play, dealing with rejection, being intrigued by someone new, all of it. Dating ultimately ends up being 99 percent failure, one percent success. That sounds drab, but it does have bursts of incredible moments, months, perhaps years where you learn more about yourself than you could by yourself. It ends up being like life. Long stretches of the mundane, with vistas that are absolutely beautiful. It keeps you going, keeps you looking for what's around that next bend.

And so here's to everyone that is still looking, still working for that priceless stuff called love. I hear ya, and I just wanted to reinforce the need to keep at it (especially for myself), to keep holding out for something spectacular, something everlasting. Remember, an adoring smile is far greater than a meaningless kiss. There really is true love. So, like the song says, I need an everlasting love, I need a friend and a lover divine, An everlasting precious love, wait for it, wait for it, give it some time.

Lyrics:

He wasn't looking for a pretty face
She wasn't searching for the lastest style
He didn't want someone who walked straight off the TV
She need someone with an interior smile

She wasn't looking for a cuddle in the back seat
He wasn't looking for a five minute thrill
She wasn't thinking of tomorrow or of next week
This vacancy he meant to permanently fill

Chorus:
I need an everlasting love
I need a friend and a lover divine
An everlasting precious love
Wait for it, wait for it, give it some time

Back in the world of disposable emotion
In the climate of temporary dreams
He wasn't looking for a notch in his bedpost
A love to push, pull, and burst at the seams

Is this love worth waiting for
Something special, something pure

Is this love worth waiting for
Bitterness will die for sure
Something special, something pure
Is this love worth waiting for

So, I was talking to a bunch of people the other night about the topic of kissing. And we got to sharin' a bunch of kissing stories. I ended up sharing a couple of my own, one of which I intend to share now, here. Lemme tell ya interneters, I have one heck of a first kiss story, and I would be remise if I withheld such a high caliber tale. So sit back, relax, and get ready to smile. I'm about to reveal what is most likely (up to this point) my most embarrassing moment to the world.

The tale begins back in the wild and crazy days of 8th grade. I am enclosing a self incriminating photo of myself taken during the era that this experience took place for my readers to visualize the sheer embarrassment on my pubescent face. And yes, my hair looked that good. I was quite the trend setter back then, you can't tell, but I had a bull cut, coupled with that sweet slick back look. I was about as dashing as fourteen year olds come, and I only used one can of hairspray a week. Okay, stop laughing, I know I know. I looked like a young Justin Timberlake with a really bad hair stylist. It was bad. But I was worst when I was 7. Knee socks sandals, and Michael Jackson T-shirts, tucked into biker shorts. Yes, spandex. Think that's embarrassing, just wait, I'm just warming up.

So here I am at this little party. Fourteen year olds were running around the house chasing each other, you know the usual stuff that would go on at a party with a bunch of 8th and 9th graders, mass hysteria. The guys had way too much of their dad's cologne on, the girls were flirting like there was no tomorrow. No one, and I mean no one had any clue or grip on what was going on. No one was being themselves, and everyone was just trying to fit in, doing things completely against their character. Most of us didn't know what the word character meant anyway.

So as the night's adventures rolled on, the plot was about to thicken. I found myself sitting on the couch watching with wide hazel eyes as a girl ran through the room without her shirt on(bra was still intact, don't worry mom!), and a boy was flying ahead of her with her shirt, teasing her. Heh, now that I think back on that, it still makes me laugh at just how funny we all acted during that time of our lives, and how little we knew about anything.

So right after that little scene, I hear someone call my name and ask, "Do you wanna kiss?"

I turn in shock to look into the smiling face of Jennifer Fonua. She suddenly had appeared beside me on the couch. My eyes widen again. She was a cute girl, it was her house we were at, and she was known as quite the "social" butterfly, if you catch my drift. My throat sank at the proposition; my heart kicked it into 5th gear. I found myself teetering against the last inch of ground of my VL'age and I had to either jump or confront this, this, devious little girl.

I think my voice cracked as I said, "Sure."

She seemed to have expected the answer, and sat back on the couch expectantly.

My eyes blinked twice, and I moved in, rigid as a tree. So I kissed her, and thought, well this is kinda nice. The same holds true to any kiss that I've experienced since. It's often agonizing getting to the kiss, but once yer there, it's...nice. So during this kiss, I feel something I haven't ever felt before. Her tongue had invaded my mouth! Trying not to panic because my cootie alarm was going crazy, I played it as cool as possible, when I realized that it wasn't just her tongue in my mouth, her gum had made the trip as well.

This was a red alert. I don't recall much, but I think my body was turned funny, I felt my side cramp. I didn't really get into a comfortable position; I was too freaked out when I leaned over. But I continued the whole kissing thing.

And that's when it came to me. This was no mere gum. This was...Oh no I thought, my eyes popped open in sheer terror. An hour earlier, the memory of seeing my friend joking around asking if anyone wanted his gum he was chewing came to mind. And then the memory of her kissing him quickly followed. This was my friend's gum! The horror!

In mid kiss, irregardless of the ramifications, and finding stopping kissing outright was strangely nigh impossible, I said, or somewhat mumbled, "Hawf et bawk." (Translated: Have it back, for those who aren't well versed on kiss speak.) After that happened, the worst of it was far from over. I had the distinct impression that I was being watched. You know that feeling when yer coming up from the basement in the darkness, and you get this gnawing feeling that someone's down there watching you? Well it was that very same feeling. So the kiss finally ended, and when I turned to see what it was, I found myself staring into the eyes of about twenty fourteen year olds. Now my utter terror may have skewed my memory of this, but I remember them just hovering over me, literally inches from us on the couch.

And then it came from the back of the crowd. Now just hear the dude voice, deep set, mocking, "You suck at kissing!"

I swear, my face caught fire, and I just shriveled up into an embarrassed mass. It was horrible. If I had a shell I would have holed myself in for weeks. But as all fourteen year old attentions go, suddenly the group was gone, whisked away on the next thing of curiosity like a pack of sharks. They left me there without a thought.

So there you have it, my most embarrassing moment. The lessons I learned were these: One, never kiss a girl who has kissed my friend. Two, dudes suck. And three, kissing is always worth it.

Hope it was as fun for you to read as it was to experience. ;)

I have just returned from one of the most hellish and most rewarding things I've ever been through.

Ya see, for the summer I've been working at a place called the Boy's Ranch, which is basically a recreational therapy type of facility. I work as a sort of councilor at a sort of summer camp. I'm in charge of five 13-14 boys year old boys that have some sort of behavioral problem or another. So at this camp we run games, talk about the learning aspects of trust and teamwork, ect. Well this week the plan was to go on a week long backpacking trip. So we get a list of components we need, which boils down to, sleeping bag, 6 quarts of water, hygiene stuff, and that's about it. The less the better we were told.

So after a 5 hour drive of laughing at farts from 13 year olds, we reach the start off point. Now we didn't have your typical backpacks for backpacking, what we had was a self made pack we had shown the boys how to put together. This consisted of a ten foot square of durable black plastic tarp that we placed the sleeping bags and the changes of cloths in, folded in half and rolled it up and strapped on the back of these out of shape, ceaselessly undisciplined kids. My groups of boys are made up of the really really lazy sorts, and the hyperactive ridlin kids. And so anything you do with them is always a clash of unexpected divisions of this and that. "He's too slow!" "Leave me alone %$&!" (add in colorful language)

So, we set off, and I never would have anticipated the level of difficulty to be as high as the hike ended up being. This was truly an expert hike. There were around 5 or 6 repelling points that were impassable, and getting the boys to repel off 30 foot drops, stepping down a cliff with nothing but a rope holding them was quite the experience. Couple that with 105 degree weather, facing the unknown of where the next water hole was, 18 hour days, beginning at 5 am (to beat the heat), and ending at usually 1 am, hiking in the darkness with only a few flashlights. Now mind you we weren't complete idiots getting ourselves into something we had no idea how to face, we were with two guys that had been doing the hike for nearly 20 years and they knew exactly what they were doing. But despite that, they weren't with us for 90% of the time; they only were there to show us the way as we came to stopping points, and control and channel the experience. And so I had sick kids on my hands, kids that literally had convinced themselves they were going to die. We never really were able to sleep, often on the rocks on a steep incline. And so starting and facing another day was usually deafening to our motivation because of our complete lack of energy. There was a point on the second day that a 2 mile stretch took my group of ten kids with one more councilor around 5 hours to complete. It was that hot and water was scarce. And it really scared me. Holding the survival of people's kids in my hands, being really tough on them to keep pressing on because literally death was nipping at our heels, both me and one of the other councilors had to carry two packs at once because our kids could not physically accomplish it. I don't think I have ever been more tired in my life. We lost kids more than once, had to backtrack in blistering heat. Ugh, gets me tired just rethinking about it.

It was a grueling experience, blisters, dehydration, kids passing out, but holy cow, when we reached the summit of the last ridge, after witnessing these kids do what even I personally began to believe was impossible, I cannot tell you how elated and retrospective it has made me. People were crying, not me, I’m too manly for something like that! But it was really a sight to behold seeing the kids accomplish what they thought they’d never do.

It was the type of thing you absolutely hate to go through, the type of thing that is so unbearable that you begin to think there is just no end. But it is also the type of thing that upon going through it you will remember for the rest of your life as something that you did that you didn't think you could. High risk, high reward. That's the crazy formula life seems to have set up, and it has always been a tough lesson for me, even when I understand it, to see through and act on, I still find myself being too lazy to achieve what I know I want to achieve.

It's interesting when you face something, especially in these kid's cases, that they couldn't out manipulate, they couldn't go back, the cars were moved to the destination spot on the first night, and they knew forward was the only way, and you find you have to tap into the real stuff, really test what faith really is, put it on the line and see it through, that you come to know things inside of you that perhaps you hadn't given a damn about up until the you had your back against the ropes. I've heard and seen so many people out there be so cynical about the inherent nature of humans, blasting us/them as if we're all going to hell in a hand basket, that this world is doomed. And frankly it is my opinion that they are flat out wrong. That's not to say we don't problems, my kids are a testament to that, but it is my firm belief that people will find they are so much more if they put faith into things that truly matter, things like, family, love, peace, unity, and friendship. I don’t think we put ourselves into situations where we have to grow enough. My own faith has been renewed in what people are capable of, and it's a nice thought in today's world.

So anyhow, I just wanted to share.